Your Writing Desk

Sunday, October 25, 2009 - Comments 7

Writing today for the True Campaign is our friend Lee Blum, an Eating Disorder Health Educator for Park Nicollet’s Melrose Institute for Eating Disorders.

I have coveted a writing desk for many years. Seeing them in catalogs or at antique shops I have often gushed, “oh I really want one of those!” You know the little desks with the fold down part just the right size for a laptop?

I found the perfect one at a garage sale and $40 dollars later I finally purchased my own beautiful antique writing desk. Just the right size for a corner in my office and with that cute little pull down part, my mind was zipping with excitement. The only problem was the desk wasn’t quite ready for use.

Well it wasn’t ready for my use.

So, it went into my garage and I began sanding away the old brown varnish. During the hours of refinishing I envisioned myself sitting upright at the desk typing quickly as the words for the final chapters of my book fell simply on the page. Day after day I returned to this image while the brown sawdust filled the garage.
I told myself I would start writing again once the desk was finished.

Finally two months later the desk was sanded, repainted, and adorned with beautiful new silver knobs. I carefully placed it in my office and stood back to praise my work.

“Ahhh. Now I am ready,” I said to myself, finally eager to get writing again. I walked towards the desk to gently release the little table and felt something stick. Tilting my head to look, I realized the paint had stuck in the cracks and upon opening the table ripped a strip off.
“No! I squeeled! More sanding. More primer. More paint!”

And, of course…no writing. It has to be just right!

My point?

You have a writing desk. I know you do. We all do.

You know those things that really get in the way of accomplishing our goals and dreams?

I work at an Eating Disorders facility and recently was having a discussion with a group of patients. The question I gave them was, “What are you waiting for to finally stop the behaviors that are keeping you stuck?”
Example, if my goal is to write then why am I not writing? Or if my goal is to have better body image then why do I read all the magazines about dieting and/or with unrealistic images? Seems simple doesn’t it?

But those writing desks get in the way.

The answers from these patients were;
“I am waiting to feel it. Waiting to feel like I want to recover.”
“I am waiting until I feel better about my body.”
“I am waiting until I don’t want or desire it anymore.”
“I am waiting for God to heal me.”

If those are your answers, you might be always waiting. You will finish the writing desk and then decide to paint the walls or get new carpet.

I think we (myself included) get comfortable in our discomfort sometimes. So much so that the other, (recovery, sobriety, body acceptance, or even just letting our voice be heard) begin to look too frightening! So what if the ahah moment never comes? What if the paint is never right enough? What if the number on the scale is never right?

Or

What if God IS healing you and providing you with everything you need to make that step, but you are too afraid to do it!

I love the title of one of John Ortberg’s books. You Can’t Walk on Water Until You Get Out of the Boat!

I can’t write a book unless I start writing. I can find a million other things to do, but it won’t happen unless I write!

I want to encourage you to take that step. Stop painting your writing desk or waiting for your ahah moment. Peter had to step out of that boat. And remember what happened? He had courage and then he became afraid. Peter shifted his attention away from Jesus and began to sink.  (Matthew 14) “Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he was the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me! Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.”
“You of little faith,” Jesus said, “why did you doubt?”

In the book Fearless (which I HIGHLY recommend) by Max Lucado he talks about how Peter took his eyes of Jesus!

I would continue that courage doesn’t come without fear! Fear helps birth courage. When you are afraid, don’t run from it! Get excited because it is an opportunity for courage to overcome fear! But make sure you are looking at the prize! What are your goals? What are your desires? Then look at how you are using your time to get to those goals.

First. Fix your eyes on Him. 
Second. Step out of that boat!

The message has this great interpretation of a part of Hebrew 12: Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished the race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed.

This morning I awoke early to write. I groggily stumbled my way into my office with my hot coffee in hand. I grabbed my laptop, told the little negative people in my head to be quiet, and began to write. Cozily sitting in my big comfy chair I found myself immersed in my writing. Out of the corner of my eye sat a beautifully new painted writing desk, and I laughed at the irony of it all. All that time wasted if I would have just sat down to do what needed to be done and trusted Jesus to help me do it!

I encourage you to take that step. If you are struggling with something destructive in your life, take courage and get help. If you are longing to do something that makes an impact, step out and do it! If you are wanting to reach some goal but too afraid to take the first step,

Fix your eyes on Him.
And Get out of that boat! (or stop sanding the writing desks ☺ )

Blessings!
Lee Blum

** “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who doesn not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Read more of Lee’s own blog.