The Comparison Game - To Complete not Compete

Thursday, October 30, 2008 - Comments 7

I recently came across the results of a survey which asked women which area of their lives they are most competitive with their friends. 80% of respondents said they are most competitive with their girlfriends about their weight.

My secret comparison game started back in Junior High, when with my feet dangling off the edge of our pool I stared at the tan naked thighs of my two best friends, back to my own, and back to theirs’ again. Seeing that my upper thighs were much wider in circumference, I automatically concluded that in the body department I didn’t quite measure up.

As women, comparing one another has become like a survival game for our sense of self-worth. We constantly feel less than, not pretty enough, not stylish enough, not worthy enough. We simply don’t stack up against that model in the magazine, that girl in our class, or that hot mom on the treadmill, and so to keep from coming undone, we discount others who maybe the world says do not stack up to us in a certain department.

I can’t believe she’s eating that. I’m so much “healthier” than her.
She has such a great figure, but she’s not that pretty.
I wish I had her legs, but at least I have a smaller waist.

Pretty sad, isn’t it?

I imagine it hurts God to tears when His daughters fire invisible arrows at one another, hiding behind false smiles and kind words. “I love you the same,” He wants to scream. “You are beautiful just the way you are. You are all equal in my eyes. Don’t speak to my daughter that way...I made her. She is fearfully and wonderfully made - and so are you my child.”

What comparison games do you entertain with the women around you? With strangers, your friends, your sisters? Behind our smiles, our kind words, our self-assuredness or insecurity we are all fragile. We are all wanting the same thing - to be found beautiful, desirable, understood, accepted, and worthy of fighting for. And so let us disrobe our spirit of competitiveness and put on a spirit of love - a desire to complete one another with genuine words of affirmation giving praise to God for the radiant beauty in others, giving grace generously as our Father does us.

Here are some words of truth to live by:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. -Colossians 3:11-13

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. -Romans 12:3

Allie

Allie Marie Smith is the founder of Wonderfully Made and author of the upcoming book Healthy Eating Abundant Living (releasing this December)