On Holiness (and Funky Butts)
Saturday, November 15, 2008 - Comments 11
I have a confession to make: I notice people’s butts. I know that sounds creepy, and you’re probably dubious about reading further. But hear me out.
It’s not that that I’m looking at them from a sexual perspective. Well, at least not most of the time. I notice them because, quite frankly, I’m fascinated by them.
Haven’t you ever stood up to worship in church, or been in line at Starbucks, and noticed the great variety of, um, behinds in front of you? What’s so fascinating to me is how different they all are. Some are small, some are larger. Some are round, some squarish. Some aren’t even there at all. (These are the ones that fascinate me the most… How does that work, exactly? Is it just two legs going all the way up to their back? Maybe that’s where the term ‘backside’ came from. But I digress…)
I’m sharing this not-so-flattering confession with you because I’ve been challenged this past week to consider just how much stock I put in physical appearance. Not just my own, but everyone else’s. And the truth is, I DO notice it all the time. In fact, I can’t seem to stop myself from noticing all the crazy little nuances of how we humans look.
Further, (and even less flattering), I have an almost unconscious habit of sizing people up, especially women. If I see someone with what I consider to be a really beautiful face, I immediately look for a flaw in her body. If, on the other hand, I’m standing behind someone at Walmart who has what I consider to be a great body, I find myself critiquing her face, or her hair, or her clothes, or, well, whatever I can find to critique.
I have a critical spirit.
Yuck.
The problem here is multi-faceted. First, (though surprisingly not most important), I serve as a role-model to women through the work that I do. Here at the True Campaign, for example, I’m part of a team that is spending a great deal of time and energy fighting against our culture’s messages about identity and beauty. And in my work at FINDINGbalance I’m constantly reminding people with eating issues that what is “alluring” in our culture is not the same thing as what is truly “attractive.” Yet while I’m at Walmart I’m making many of the same judgments the rest of our culture makes. Hmm…
Second, and probably more important, is that those in my “real” life (i.e. those who see the unedited, off-camera Constance) have been impacted by my critiquing on a first-hand level – much more than many of you ever will be, since, let’s face it, we barely know each other.
What I’m only now beginning to accept is that every time I make a comment about someone else’s appearance – even a stranger’s – I am sending a message to whoever is listening that I, too, believe that someone’s appearance is mine to judge. Which (as I’m now learning) has made some of the people in my life afraid I’m judging them too. Which (if I’m honest) I probably am.
So, I am part of the very problem that I’ve prided myself on fighting.
But there is a solution here – a great hope for me to change. As my friend Ann likes to say, it’s all about holiness, a continued pursuit of becoming more like Christ than we currently are. Here’s how it works…
If we are walking in Christ’s image, and if, as scripture tells us, we’ve actually been given the “mind of Christ,” (1 Cor. 2:16) then it only stands to reason that as we press in to becoming who he wants us to be, it will have the automatic effect of changing how we view people.
For example, I have a sneaking suspicion that Christ, if he were walking on the earth today, would not be seen staring at someone’s butt. Or their body. Or sizing up their physical appearance at all. Instead, I believe he’d go straight for the eyes, looking for signs of life, of sorrow, of questions, of faith.
It’s easy for me to believe that Christ would not allow himself to be distracted from his purpose of loving us by something as trivial as the differences in our outside appearance. How, then, can I justify this distraction to myself?
Um, I can’t.
And so my challenge to myself going forward – and to any of you who will join me – is to make a concerted effort toward tearing our eyes away from what our culture focuses on (i.e. the outward appearance), and focusing in on what really matters.
When we look at people, can we look them in the eye… only? Can we resist the urge to size them up, or to try and find some flaw in their appearance to make us feel better about our own?
Further, can we choose to relax a little about our own appearance too, so that others won’t have to fight so hard against their own insecurities to find their way to the truth we know?
When life gets distracting, let’s remember that we have been invited to pursue the mind of Christ. To look to him for what is truly important. And for who we truly are.
All this, in spite of our funky butts…
“We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:5 NASV)
Constance
- I didn’t learn my lesson by seeking God’s plan for my best condition spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.