Loving What I Love
Friday, October 17, 2008 - Comments 5
I’ve created a monster.
You see, I’m a Nebraska Football fan and as such I have fulfilled my duty to indoctrinate my 8 year-old son Spencer in all of the traditions, myths and customs of a Husker Fan. Recently I took him to his first Nebraska game in Lincoln where he enjoyed screaming at the top of his lungs for the home team, complete with giant foam hat, foam finger and red-painted face. We toured the trophy rooms and I tutored him on the heroes (Tommie Frazier, Tom Osborne) and villains (Oklahoma and Colorado) of Husker Nation.
Overall I believed this to be a good thing, after all, it is male-bonding in its purest form. Together we cheered when Nebraska scored a touchdown and on the drive back to the hotel we recounted the best parts of the game.
However, there is one element of my passion for Nebraska football that I’ve passed on to my son that concerns me. That’s where the monster comes in.
There is no love lost between Nebraska and Colorado and in learning to love what I love and disdain what I disdain he has developed an intense dislike for the Buffaloes. So now, whenever Colorado is mentioned on Sportscenter or on his Playstation 2 he declares his animosity for all to hear. He’s elevated what I disliked to even greater levels of contempt.
Are you catching on yet? Do you see where I am headed with this?
Prevailing wisdom and academic research both point to the important role that a mother plays in shaping her daughter’s body image, regardless of her size or whether or not she verbalizes her own insecurities. What you love she will love, what you hate, she will hate, possibly with an intensity that will shock even you.
Do you speak negatively about your thighs? She may develop such hatred as to start cutting them. Do you bemoan your tummy hanging over your jeans? She may begin skipping meals and open the door to anorexia.
Molly, a friend of the True Campaign, struck by the influence she wields in her daughter’s life, has decided to use the power of her passion for better purposes. She wrote a letter to her 2 year-old daughter Ella declaring her desire to model healthy body image. Here are a few selections from her letter:
Dear Ella,
While you are not even 2 years old yet, I know that the changes I am making in my life TODAY will impact your life in ways I can only imagine.
I want you to know that I have struggled with loving and accepting myself for a long time. The details are not important now, but I will explain everything to you when you are ready. For now, I want you to know that I am making a commitment to you, to your dad, to myself, and to Jesus that I will love myself just as I am in this moment, in the same way I love you, forever and always.
This is my declaration:
I will take care of my body by providing nourishment when it asks for it. I will eat when I’m hungry and stop when I am full.
I will thank God that I have eyes to see the beautiful world, ears to hear you giggle, and legs that allow me to jump, run, and play.
I will move my body and continue my fitness journey because I enjoy feeling strong and healthy.
I will always love you unconditionally—I can promise you that. And today, I am committing to modeling self-love and self-acceptance so that I can show you what it means to live this out in your everyday life. A mother who shows self-love and self-acceptance vaccinates her daughter from low self-esteem. Ella, I will do that for YOU!
Ella, you are my shining star and my inspiration and I love you more than anything. You are beautiful—inside and out—forever and always! This is my gift to you.
xoxo,
Mommy
Our children will learn from us. Scary as that is, it is also a privilege and delight. That night at the football game with my son will remain as one of our great memories together and I hope will let him know that I’m crazy about him, that I enjoy spending time with him and that I will love him, even if someday he gets arrested for vandalizing Colorado Buffalo property…
Travis
